finding things that make you happy in life is so difficult that when you find them you have to hold onto them as long as possible, whether it's friends or a hobby that makes you happy. things seem so perfect at times and then you cross that line of what seems right and what really is. i'm not gonna sit here and fuck things up any longer. i hate when things come crashing down around me. i need to find what makes me truly happy because that's the only way to get through all of the bullshit in the world. this isn't making any sense at all and my emotions feel like someone put them in all bottle and shook them up. idk how to put things back to normal but that's what i'd like more than anything in the world. funny how things can change in a few days. friday i was feeling like i was at the top of the world and with yesterday and today, everything feels lost. idk what happened but all that i've come to realize once again is that i know who my true friends are. no matter how many mistakes i've made i learn from my lesson, but i keep making new ones. i wish things would get back to normal, whatever normal really is.